She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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