I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
