I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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