guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
