i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize