You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
