either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
