i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize