apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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