Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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