do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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