You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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