I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
