we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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