did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
