I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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