Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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