matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
