He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
