There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
