During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize