haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
