BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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