I can text with my tongue
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
