Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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