everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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