It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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