Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
