i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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