you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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