just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
