yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
