Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize