My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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