he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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