i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
