Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
