do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize