my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
