Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
