Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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