I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
