Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You work out of a Hotel?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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