my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize