I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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