At least make sure they are 18
Why
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
