Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
