I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize