Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
