That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize