The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
