Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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