I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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