Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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