i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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