Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
