Don't you send me to vm
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
