Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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