Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize