I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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