I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
