.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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