He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
