Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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