I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's shark week go big or go home
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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