nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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