You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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