Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Randomize
