Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
