Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
