i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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