possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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