2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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