i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We need to get me chipped asap
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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